My message from Madonna (well, sort of)

Just when I decide there are no such things as signs and synchronicity, or at least not to look so deeply into such supposed things for hidden meanings, the universe goes and surprises me.
Last weekend is a classic case in point. I’d been working on a book manuscript for someone – a spiritual tale of self-discovery, just my thing – and after two hours of typing I felt a bit achy in my shoulders and needed to move. I felt a strong urge to dance to Madonna’s Ray of Light album, specifically the Nothing Really Matters song.
I went upstairs to my small mezzanine space, about 2mx2m, where I keep my crystals, incense sticks, meditation cushions, spiritual books and inspirational art, including a red Tibetan scroll I brought back from Nepal on which is printed some sage advice from the Dalai Lama about finding inner peace. There’s also my really old Sony CD player (with a tape cassette player - that’s how old it is!) and a selection of self-development CDs by the likes of Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer (RIP), and Cheryl Richardson. Madonna is my all-time favourite pop icon, and so I put on the CD and enjoyed whirling, twirling, twisting and arabesque-ing as best I could in the confines of the small room.

When I dance I feel free
The Ray of Light album came out right around the time I was heading off to university to study media and English. I think Frozen was the first single released, followed by the album’s title track. But Nothing Really Matters came out during my second year, when I was in America doing on an exchange programme. We had a TV in the apartment which played MTV – what a luxury, having just five channels back home – and two of the videos that played endlessly and became part of my summer 1999 soundtrack were Baz Luhrmann’s Sunscreen Song and Nothing Really Matters. Both songs moved me in a way it’s hard to describe; they spoke to a deep part of me that was much older and wiser than my body’s 20 years. And even though I knew the lyrics from Madonna’s song were about her first child Lourdes, the musical arrangement struck deep within my soul, so that whenever it came on the TV or was played in a club, I felt compelled to dance. I loved nothing more than dancing with wild abandon around the vast, light-filled living room in our second-floor apartment of what was named ‘the brick house’ (next to the blue house and the yellow house), with huge windows overlooking the tree-filled courtyard of the University of South Carolina. Though I was young and supposedly at an age to be carefree, I so often felt trapped within a cage of ‘shoulds’: I should behave this way, I shouldn’t do that or my parents/friends/boyfriend/life in general won’t approve and won’t like me. I was easily swayed by personalities stronger and bigger than my own. And I didn’t value or even listen to my own intuition, which was and still is my biggest work in progress. So, dancing to Madonna, whose videos and songs had inspired me since the age of eight, gave me sense of freedom somehow. Freedom from who I was to the outside world and a small doorway into the person I could become.
As the track drew to a close, I laid down on the soft fluffy white rug and began thinking about how incredibly long ago those university days seemed: 16 to be precise. I thought about how Madonna had transformed and grown as a person from the Material Girl years to the Earth Mother phase of the Ray of Light era, coinciding with her first child. And I thought about how many times she underwent a transformation, and continues to do so, not least during the Reinvention Tour - my first live concert of hers, in fact of anyone!





Synchronicity or just weird coincidence?
By now the album was on track 8 - the one in which she sing a Sanskrit chant - and I propped myself up against the wall with my cushions, and grabbed the nearest book, Change Me Prayers, by Tosha Silver. Tosha is a former astrologer and very down to earth in her advice and way of living. Plus she also has a lot of the same planets as me in her birth chart so I feel like we have some similarities. I devoured her first book, Outrageous Openness, on holiday earlier this summer, and loved it so much I ordered the sequel straight away. It’s made up of very short stories, 1-3 pages long. I must have started it two months ago, as I was reading a few pages at a time. So, I could have been at any point in the book. Imagine my shock and surprise when I open it to see ‘Just like Madonna’ written at the top of the page! I swear I’d not looked ahead and seen what was coming, so I had no idea. What were the chances of this happening? I’ve been reading this book on and off for months; I could have got up to any page. How did I manage to be listening to Madonna AND open a book with her name at the top of the page? The book isn’t even about her.

Madonna on the page

Tosha Silver's advice to reinvent ourselves

What’s more, the story then pretty much echoed everything I’d just been contemplating. It was about people being able to transform themselves and their thoughts as they get older,and Tosha had used Madonna as the ultimate example of reinvention. Synchronicity or what? I had to smile. Was this the universe giving me a little nudge to say that I am connected to intuition after all? That if I just stop thinking so much, and start doing what feels natural, starting small, I’ll be better at navigating life? Well, this was my interpretation at least. Funny, too, how the book I’d been editing earlier that morning, when I’d felt the inspiration to dance, had also been about cycles, patterns, and how we’re all interconnected.

Maybe it's time for me to do a reinvention, just like Madonna. With the arrival of September I'm feeling the urge to have a massive clear out at home, overhaul my diet, which has once again become too sugary, and perhaps cut my hair. As they say, the only thing you can count upon to happen in life is change, whether you want it or not.

My spiritual lesson from strawberries

I love how the smallest, simplest of things can remind us of life's most profound teachings. Today has got to be one of the hottest days of the year so far in the UK. My husband was out in the garden doing some weeding and alerted me to the fact that the neglected strawberry patch was looking rather fulsome. Neither of us are particularly into gardening – well, I would be, it's just I rarely have the time to do it. So, our garden most often resembles a wild meadow. Anything could be lurking in the long grass! 


The strawberry plants were put there by my father-in-law a couple of years ago, and the whole patch has become covered in bind weed, stinging nettles and all manner of other tall wild grasses – at least it was until hubby hacked them down just now. I thought the strawberries would probably have died off by now, but these little babies are hardier and more adaptable than I gave them credit for and have produced a bumper crop – all with no intervention! 

The overgrown strawberry patch AFTER it's been weeded (and still looking a mess!)

Not once all summer did I go out to weed or water. The plants have been left entirely to their own devices. And here is what I find miraculous: competing for space alongside all the weeds, the runners had to grow upwards instead of outwards to get their share of light, meaning the developing berries didn't touch the floor (hence no need for straw). The second benefit of being surrounded by overgrown weeds, was that the birds could get nowhere near them as they had nowhere to land. Only a couple have been nibbled by creepy crawlies. It's just taken me about 20 minutes to pick what must be a couple of kilos worth of juicy, ripe berries, and there are still more to come!

The plants are now flopping over, thanks to the removal of the stinging nettles 

Now, contrast this scenario with that of about eight years ago, when I had my own allotment. My mum, a keen gardener, would often come to help me out. We planted all manner of things, including a row of strawberry plants. But they took so much work and effort to look after. We weeded around them, surrounded them with straw to keep the berries from touching the ground, and had to fend off the birds. My dad ended up making a netted cage to protect them. And then there was the nightly watering during the summer. So much work went into maintaining that little patch and for very little yield – we'd get maybe a handful of strawberries all summer. 

And the point is? .....

I couldn't help but think to myself that perhaps life often works in the same way. When we intervene too much, or make too much effort, we often don't get the results we hope for. Conversely, when we leave things alone and let nature take its course, without any thought about our attachment to an outcome, we can end up pleasantly surprised.
Now, I'm not saying that in all cases we can sit back, do nothing, and expect results. Indeed, those strawberry plants had to have been planted there by someone in the first place for there to be such a bountiful supply now. So, sometimes we do need to plant seeds in order to reap the rewards later down the line. But it's so easy not to trust the process and interfere too much. I love Louise Hay's analogy of positive affirmations being like seeds. She talks about planting those seeds with love into fertile ground, tending to them carefully, and not interfering too much or getting impatient and digging up the soil saying 'where are you? why is nothing happening?!' She reminds us that all we have to do is plant our positive intention, then release our attachment to the outcome and let the magic happen. After all, nature knows exactly what to do. Those strawberry plants in my back yard got all the sustenance they needed from the ground, air, and rain. I didn't need to go meddling. And, they ended up growing bigger and more abundant than they ever would have had I started getting involved in the process.

I've experienced this very thing throughout my life: putting lots of effort or emotional energy into trying to create a particular outcome, only for that very thing or person to remain elusive. Conversely, when I haven't been so attached to a particular outcome, or haven't 'tried' so hard, things have come to me with much more ease. Deepak Chopra writes about this phenomena – the law of least effort – in his his book The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success. It's a good reminder that sometimes things don't have to be such hard work. 

So, what can you ease up on today? Are you striving and working too hard on something to 'make it happen'? If you've planted your seeds and are getting impatient for results, maybe it's time to take a leaf out of the strawberry patch's book, and let things grow how they want to, in their own right time. More and more I'm coming to realise that by trusting life, we allow ourselves to be directed to where we need to go, and bring the right people and opportunities our way.

Who would've thought there could be so much spiritual learning from simple strawberry patch?!
....And yes, I've just enjoyed a bowl of them, dressed simply with some organic double cream and a sprinkling of xylitol (it's low GI, actually good for your teeth and way better than table sugar, but that's a topic for a whole other blog!)

The first of two huge tubs. I'll be eating them for days! Who knew such abundance was right in my back yard? 

Why older is better (mostly)

Just been to see Skyfall, the latest Bond film (if that's not stating the obvious - it's been impossible to ignore after all). I understand why it's being lauded so much. For a start, hats off to Javier Bardem for his eerily creepy bad guy - the blonde hair! - and for the writers staging it primarily in London and Scotland - a ploy to attract even more tourists? Or to add one more GB triumph to what has already become a truly British year all round, what with the incredible Olympics (did I mention I was in the closing ceremony? sorry, can't help bringing it up at every opportunity).

Maturing - like a fine wine
But the part of the film that most caught my attention was the theme of growing older, especially at the start, with plenty of mentions about Bond's age - DC certainly looked rather more 'weather worn' to put it politely, than in previous films. But the underlying message was that he may be older, but yet he was wiser and most certainly not out of the game. There were jibes about him being past it, only emphasised by the young new 'Q' played by a techie geek decades his junior. And though this was perhaps to be expected, what I liked were the reminders from his young female accomplice about 'old dog, new tricks' and 'old ways being the best', which emphasised that age does not stop you being the best in the world and good at your job.

Culture that values youth
I bring this up because it always saddens me when I read about people ousted from their jobs because of their age. I know this is hardly news, and has been going on since its inception, but the BBC has a reputation for firing it's older, and very accomplished, presenters. To use a dancing reference - of course, as I love it - Strictly came under fire for getting rid of Arlene as a judge. Whether she chose to go or was coerced, I guess we will never know. But ageism is rife and we all know it. Whether it's overt or not, it pervades our Western society. I get sick of the Daily Mail website for the way it constantly panders to this hegemonic belief that women are 'past it' by a certain age and ought not make themselves visible (and if they do, God forbid they wear something 'inappropriate for their age' or do something 'improper'). I avoid reading the site at all costs but sometimes can't help it when a colleague sends me a relevant fitness or spiritual news story, which I check and then inevitably get sucked into reading all the other 'non-stories' for an hour or so, often only to end up depressed. Madonna, my hero and a very spiritual lady (if anyone bothered to actually listen to what she actually says), is always lambasted on that site for behaving in a manner 'not fit for a women in her fifties' according to the site.

Age has hidden gifts
My favourite spiritaul doctor Christiane Northrup, author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom (Piatkus), says in one of her lecture that as women we only really get into our stride in our sixties. That's when we really know ourselves, have decided not to put up with s**t from people anymore, and can create amazing things. Check out her work because it's truly inspiring (the talk I refer to is on the Hay House audio Inside-out Wellness with her and Dr Wayne Dyer. It's a few years old now but still good). She, or it could be Wayne, I forget, also mentions that the only reason the retirement age was brought in at 65 was because some European army general realised most of his most powerful enemies were above this age; so, by introducing the meme - a powerful, unconscious belief - that by the age of 65 you are past it, this general could stay in power. I wouldn't be surprised if this were true.

Mind = good; body, not so much 
The only thing I dislike about ageing is the fact my hair is turning grey and I'm getting lines around my eyes in such a quantity that it sometimes causes me distress. But that's just me being vain. The great thing about getting older is being able to learn from your mistakes and feeling more confident about who you are. Though I'd love to have my 20-year-old body back, I'd probably not choose to go back to that age because it would mean having to re-live the horror of my mid 20s (horror being a slight exaggeration) due to just not feeling confident about anything: my direction in life, my career, or lack thereof, my relationships - OK that last one is still a mystery a lot of the time. But still, age does bring wisdom; it brings grace, strength and depth. It should be revered, not hidden away out of sight to make way for the spring chickens all of the time.

Dancing to her own drum
I hope she won't mind me saying so, but Karen Ruimy (and I don't know her exact age) started her dance career later in life. Despite having danced as a young child, she ended up working in banking and earning mega bucks, but packed it all in to follow her calling and pursue her dream of being a poet, singer, writer and dancer on stage. Check out her website www.karenruimy.com; the blog is excellent and a must for anyone into dance, fashion, art, travel, architecture - actually she covers most things! She is just one person who is inspiring to me. Who says you have to be a certain age to do things? It's only a mindset that stops us from following our dreams. Louise Hay, a women who set up a publishing company in her 60s, says in her seminal book You Can Heal Your Life (Hay House - of course!), that a former client of hers wanted to get into commercials, and she was in her 70s. So Louise told her to go for it as there was 'no one else quite like you doing what you do' - and so the woman did get an agent and went on to successfully star in lots of TV ads.

Age not a barrier
So, let's not make age a barrier. I need to take my own advice here, for I'm often wishing I could turn back the clock and have done more dancing in my 20s, and not just consigned it to the hobby category. But I didn't. The past is gone. Nothing is stopping me from pursuing it now, especially as Karen Hardy invited me to her dance studio to have a one-to-one lesson with a pro (I actually had to go and jump up and down in the loos after the interview, as I could not contain my excitement!). All I need to do is get my achy back sorted. Well, as Bond discovers in this latest film, we may grow wiser and still 'have it' but the body does, inevitably, get a bit worn out...

Why is patience a virtue?

I've been waiting to move house for what seems like FOREVER! Ever since I got the urge to move out back in January, when I was finding it a bit frustrating sharing the two-bedroom apartment not only with my flatmate but her boyfriend, who was staying for weeks at a time (and is now living here full-time), I've wanted my own space. Not that there is anything wrong with either of them, but I just want to be able to come home and only have piles of my own mess to deal with, not someone elses.
So, I put in an offer on a one-bedroom apartment back in June and was told it could all go through by end of August. Well, no one needs to check their calendar to know it's way past the end of August, and I have still yet to move. Endless paperwork holds ups with which I won't bore you, have meant the whole process, which should have taken 6-8 weeks, is now taking as long as it would were I to have sold a property in order to buy. The poor guy I'm buying from must be tearing his hair out.

Part of the cosmic plan?
Anyway, I kept wondering whether the hold-ups were for a reason, i.e. was this part of the Divine plan to put me off moving so that I could instead be far more outrageous and quit my job, then use the deposit money to go travelling, or maybe do the former but then use the to fund myself while I go self-employed. Or was it to get me to reconsider whether I'm buying the right place? Or, in fact, was it a lesson in patience and going with the flow?

Rethinking decisions
Perhaps little old Mercury going retrograde has held up the process too, though that would only account for part of the delay (only a week to go though now!). Mercury retro is also the time when we are supposed to use the re word a lot after all: re-vise, re-think, re-evaluate, so perhaps that's where my uncertainty stems from. But I do know I should have listened to my intuition back at the start of the year, and moved out months ago (either renting or buying). Yes I know Louise Hay would say 'should' is a profanity we ought never use as it makes us wrong, but I can't help using/ Sometimes you just need your own space, mentally, physically, psychically, emotionall - everything 'ally! And I've known that for some time.

Good old patience
Hopefully I'll be in my new place by the end of this month (which would be a miracle) or early December. I'm not looking forward to the packing up part, but, as they say, things have to get worse before they get better, so the mess and upheaval will all be worth it eventually. I just have to keep reminding myself that patience is a virtue - at least I really hope it is!

Stressed mind = tense body

So, following on from Damian's advice yesterday, just how successful was I at 'doing nothing and spending the day treating myself'?
Not very. :-(

It started well, watching Strictly, then I did lay on the couch reading - and had a little snooze - but I just couldn't stop myself doing some admin things, namely sorting out the notes on my phone so I can transfer them to my computer - it has to be done at some point so why not now, I figured? - and sitting planning out , in my mind, how I'm going to write one of my books. I kept returning to The Celestine Prophesy, but to no avail - the thoughts would not leave my head about how I needed to do ABC, and XY and Z, in order to get my writing career off the ground, going in circles from one book idea to the next. All this was NOT what Damian told me to do, which makes me wonder: am I incapable of just spending a lazy Sunday afternoon by myself without feeling bad about not being productive? Seems so.

Addicted to busy-ness
I've experienced this before; anytime I've had a weekend with no plans, which has been rare for the past 12 months what with all my to-ing and fro-ing to London for numerous dance rehearsals ans performances, I've not been able switch off and relax. If I'm at home I feel like I need to be doing something useful, like sorting out my wardrobe, typing up my mound of receipts so I can see exactly how much I've blown the budget for yet another month in a row, or, to come back to my previous example, writing my damn book! Though I love doing nothing, it does give me too much time to sit and think; time in which I often get flooded with thoughts of 'why have you not yet accomplished this? Why did you not do that  last week, month, year? blah blah blah'. this is what Damian had to say: "The point of treating yourself is to relax and enjoy your own company. If you can't 'do' that, this is where the problem/block lies. This is where your work need to be done, on learning to relax, doing nothing - it's a nice 'problem' to have!"
I'm just not sure I'm capable of that though! On the one hand, though I tired myself out this year with so many commitments each weekend and many week nights, it made me feel great because I was so active and always doing something. Now that's stopped, the lack of constant activity makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, as if it was masking something deeper. Robert Holden http://www.robertholden.org has a great calendar that I have on my desk at work, which reminds you that being busy does not always equal success. Each day the insightful quotes remind me to question what success really means to me, and that being busy keep us from enjoying life. The irony is, I read them, take about ten seconds to reflect on the wisdom, then get stuck into my day because I'm just too busy to fully appreciate what he's getting at. Funny that.

The pain of holding on
Another phenomena I've noticed over the past couple of months is a painful spine - right in the middle and in between my vertebrae. it hurts when I bend forward, especially when I wake up in the morning, or if I attempt to do cobra pose in yoga. Even sitting back against a chair hurts! The reason could be the drops and lifts I did in salsa, or lugging a metal wheel on my back during the Olympics ceremony, or, it could be poor diet (I read eating too much sugar can cause aches and pains, and my back was miraculously better last year when I gave up sugar for 5 weeks), or perhaps, as Louise Hay, queen of affirmations, would say, it's because I'm holding too much tension and too much 'stuff' including regrets for the past. I often find myself with shoulders hunched up around my ears when I'm lost in a negative train of thought, or tensing my back, glutes and legs.
Maybe relaxing and 'lifting up the oars' to drift down the river, as Damian advised in the previous post, really is what I need to do. I can't see that ever happening at work, so my only hope is in my leisure time. Now, if only I could just switch my brain off...

Getting what you want (by doing nothing)

Woke up nice and early, appreciating the extra hour as it allowed me some time to meditate for first time in ages. Was looking forward to my Skype session with Damian Smyth, author of Do Nothing: Stop Looking, Start Living (amazon.co.uk). My expectations were that I'd finish the session with an action plan for my book, list of things 'to do' and feeling motivated to get started once and for all. However - and I ought to have guessed, considering his book title - what transpired was rather than focusing on things I need to do, Damian advised me to take the day off and enjoy myself, rather than focusing on goals. What?!?!? But I'd planned to be so productive this weekend! This was not what I wanted to hear. Having listened to me ramble on for five minutes about why I want to write and what I want to accomplish, he told me something I felt was counter intuitive to progress: take the day off!
Here's some of what he said, which you may find applicable to your life too if, like me, you keep striving to 'get somewhere'.

"Just go and have some fun and don't think about anything else. All the times you put yourself on the hook, that's you doing it to yourself and you can take yourself off the hook; you're OK where you are and as you are; everything is and has happened perfectly; as soon as you surrender to the idea of something you know is going to happen, it will happen. Stop fighting to find a way to make things occur. The way to do it is let go, find out who you are, and love yourself."

Interesting! and something I've heard and been told countless times from various mentors and self-help gurus during my time at Soul&Spirit magazine. 

Lifting the oars...
"If you are rowing upstream and putting all your effort into it, and you suddenly realise the boat is going in the wrong direction, the best thing to do is not turn the boat around, but just lift the oars. Stop doing things you think are going to work; stop the doing and trying."

This 'Go with the flow' advice is as old as the hills but perhaps it's for a reason. Maybe I am trying to hard, even though to me it doesn't feel like I am as I'm not 'getting anywhere', but my mind is like a constant battlefield of thoughts about 'you should be doing this, that and the other' or, worse, 'you should have done that already and have wasted years'. Those thoughts make it almost impossible to be creative and move forward with anything at all. Feeling not good enough or satisfied either with what I have, what I have achieved, or who I am, isn't helpful. Oh, and I love the tag line on his Skype account, which is 'you will Find the answer by realising you already have it'. Nice.

Learning to love yourself
On this subject of approving of oneself, back in September at Hay House's I Can Do It! conference in London (hayhouse.com), I realised that actions coming from a place of acceptance and self-approval are bound to be more productive than ones that are born out of fear and self-loathing. After that weekend, I vowed to treat myself as a best friend would, and ditch the negative talk. It lasted about a day, but it was a start... there are years of criticism there to work on!
Wayne Dyer, a Hay House author and one of my most favourite spiritual speakers, says we must "abstain from thoughts of harm, whether directed towards ourselves or others". For me, it's a case of breaking the habit of a lifetime, or, as some have advised, letting it go, as 'breaking' implies force; what's gentler is to greet the inner critic with amusement, thank it for its concern, then let it pass by.

Lady of leisure!
So, Damain told me to enjoy my day, go to a spa, the gym, into the park, to a coffee shop to have a huge piece of cake - whatever it was, just to be kind to myself and completely take my mind of 'achievements'.
I've started with catching up on my fav programme of all time, Strictly Come Dancing, and that put a huge smile on my face. The rest of the day I may just lounge on the sofa reading books that make me feel good, starting with the final instalment of The Celestine Prophecy series: The Twelfth Insight. I wonder whether I can go the whole day without thinking and feeling that I ought to be 'doing' something more 'useful'...

How do you want to grow old?

Can you bypass ill health and grow old gracefully? A walk in the park causes Katy to ponder the ageing process, and how a lot of it is determined by our attitude towards getting older, and the thoughts we think

Yesterday as I was wandering through Abby fields in Colchester - part of an epic walk from one end of the town to the other, just to take a lamp to be fixed - I passed a lady whom I'd guess was probably in her late 60s; she had sleek, grey hair cut into a bob, smart sunglasses, and a confident air. Something about her made me stand up straighter, take deep breathes and hold my shoulders back. I had a thought, albeit fleeting, that I'd like to grow old and look like her. Now, I don't know what her life is actually like as we never got talking, but looked healthy and happy.
At the same time I spied her, I was pulling my iPhone out of my pocket, which at that very moment began playing a track from a talk by Louise Hay about growing older - I must have pressed a button accidentally, though I thought it was locked. (on that note, I've noticed a number of times how it seems to pick out songs that seem relevant to the moment; not so long ago I was sure the device was warning me off seeing a certain man, as it kept selecting tracks at poignant moments to do with being broken hearted; turns out it was probably right, but that's another story...)

choose how you age...
Anyway, Louise Hay's talk, given some 6-7 years ago, was about how she wants to create a community called 'Elders of Excellence'. She says that though we all get older, we have a large part to play in the process and must all take responsibility for our health. She also points out that whatever age you deem to be 'middle age', is when you will begin to deteriorate physically, which is an idea also espoused by Deepak Chopra, author of Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul, who says we can change our very DNA through our thoughts, and that we, not doctors, are the ones who heal ourselves.
Anyway, I found it somewhat synchronous that within seconds I'd seen a healthy elderly lady, who just by virtue of passing by had caused me to consider my own health and longevity, and at the same time my iPod chose to play Louise Hay's words echoing my own thoughts.

no excuses
As it happened, I had just been for a jog - making the most of the glorious sunny autumn day - and had included some high intensity interval training, which is basically short, intense bursts of activity, such as jumps, sprints, press ups etc, followed by a short rest period.
Having just switched from editing Soul&Spirit to Bodyfit, my thougths are naturally turning more towards my physical and not just emotional and spiritual self, and I've made the commitment to not only strengthen my muscles and increase my cardiovascular health, but to increase my flexibility so I'm able to do the splits - I've given myself 12 months to achieve the latter. And I now believe it's possible. Deepak, Louise, Wayne Dyer and a number of other spiritual gurus all tell us the same thing: that if you believe something, you can achieve it and experience it. For years I held the limiting belief of "I'm not flexible". Well, as Wayne would say, whatever you put after the words 'I am' is critical to success or failure (for more on this, see his latest book Wishes Fulfilled, which is one of the best on manifesting that I've ever read). So, by saying, 'I am not flexible' I was enforcing that belief. However, last year I got sent the updated version of Vanda Scaravelli's Awakening the Spine, and was amazed and encouraged by images of this slight, 90-year-old woman putting her feet behind her head and bending into the most incredible postures. And she only began yoga in her forties. I also watched some Youtube videos of women who've taught their bodies to do the splits in just a few months by practising each day. So, no more excuses for me....

healthy mind = healthy body
What we do with our bodies and minds, not to mention what we put into them, IS our choice. We choose what to eat, drink and think. but it's a daily, hourly, even minute-by-minute practise. I won't get flexible overnight; progress, in any area of life, is often made by taking constant, continuous, little-by-little steps.
But the combination of seeing the elegant lady, hearing Louise's talk, and recalling Vanda's book all motivate me to take healthy actions so that, hopefully, I live to a ripe old age. I plan to be doing yoga - and the splits - in my nineties, and I have a feeling I'm going to grow old disgracefully, in that I'll be far less stressed and worried about what other people think by then. Though I do wish my grey hairs would hold off for another decade or so until I'm really ready for them!

Is your life guided?

Is life just as series of random encounters or is there a pattern woven through the cosmos, to make certain things happen? This is something I have been pondering of late, especially in light of an email I received from an author the other day. It began in the usual way, along the lines of ‘I am a fan of your magazine and read all manner of spiritual books, and have written my own in which you might be interested’ etc.

However, half way down the email, when this gentleman mentioned his work involved travelling around the world tasting chocolate, I had one of those light bulb moments when I realised ‘I know this guy’. And so I emailed back saying how and why I knew of him.

Back in 2004, when I was finishing my journalism diploma and sending out CVs to prospective employers, I had come across an advert for an editor on a magazine called Kennedy’s Confection, all about chocolate and the baking industry. I applied, and though didn’t’ have enough experience at that time, the editor kindly suggested I go and pay them a visit, as I had expressed such a keen interest in chocolate – one of my life’s passions (and which I also write about for another magazine we publish here, called SmartLife). However, the meeting never took place as I then was offered the job on the East Anglian Daily Times, a regional newspaper in Suffolk, which I took up and so never pursued the other avenues.

Coming around again

So, what I found weird, was that all these years later, I receive an email from the this same guy, at Kennedy’s Confection, telling me how much he likes Soul&Spirit and how he wants to send me his book: based on his diary of how he went from a dead-end sales job, to running his own magazine and earning tons of money, AND getting to eat chocolate (I wont’ pretend I’m not just a tad jealous of that!).

I mean, it all seems rather bizarre how small the world is and how there are so many connections. Is this because we were destined to meet anyway one day? Or he or I have some important information for each other? Or just to rejoice in our love of chocolate? I don’t know. But I also find it strange, and amazing, that back in 2003 I was reading Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, when at the time in an unsatisfying job, and only five years later I am interviewing her for this magazine! The same goes for Jon Sandifer, who writes the Eastern Stars I Ching Astrology predictions in the mag: I chanced upon one of his books back in 1999, when I was working at BBC Suffolk (it had been sent in for review), and became fascinated and engrossed with it – and now he writes for me!

Joining the dots

Perhaps this is all an example of how all those little events of the past were leading me to where I am now? And that only now are they all beginning to link up and make sense. Having such a strong interest in spiritual matters has certainly stood me in good stead working on Soul&Spirit – in fact it’s a must, as if you are not into this sort of thing, this job would be a nightmare! Perhaps it’s also an example of how you attract the right things to you, at the right time. Either way, I am finding it all slightly strange, yet exciting and fascinating, to be joining the dots and seeing connections to things throughout my life, and marvelling at the cyclical nature of it all. For life is a huge cycle, filled with smaller cycles. Our lives have their own rhythm and cycles, and, I find, the same situations present themselves over and over until you learn the lesson and do something different. I’m not sure what I am meant to be learning from this particular encounter with the chocolate editor, unless it is just to enjoy more chocolate, and I’m not going to argue with that! 

The November issue of Soul&Spirit is on sale now, with free Jacky Newcomb Angels & Love cards. On sale in all good supermarkets. Visit www.soulandspiritmagazine.com

Why hating ageing is futile

Hands up who here hates the aging process? It's a stong, self-assured person who can say they don't, but my bet is that most of us are in the camp of wishing ageing didn't have to occur. There are benefits of getting older, though, such as increased knowledge and wisdom (and also hindsight, but that one is not always to great!). I'm primarily talking about physical ageing.

My reason for bringing this up is because I went to Tesco today for an eye exam (they are free, by the way - check it out!), and I caught myself, as I so often do, wishing I still had the perfect, 20/20 vision of my youth. My eyes are not that bad, only 0.50 in both eyes, making me slightly shortsighted, but rather than accepting this natural part of growing old, I so often wish I could turn back the clock when it comes to my body. OK, there are people such as Peter Grunwald who say you CAN improve your eyesight through various exercises and a change in perception - I attended one of his facinating workshops - and Deepak Chopra also espouses the theory that we can 'reinvent our bodies' which he talks about in his book Re-inventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul (which I am currently reading), but althoguh I am sure there is lots we can do to be proactive to preserve our bodies, we will all, inevitably, age and then die. So it's how we approach this process that will affect our quality of life.

Change is inevitable
Buddhism teaches that everything is impermanent. And while on an intellectual level I know this to be true, I still find myself getting cheesed off at my increasing number of white hairs (and not just on my head, I have white arm-pit hairs, white eye brow hairs and I even found one in a place I wont mention, the other day, much to my horror!!!). While I can and do dye my grey hairs (only the ones on my head, I must point out) and wear factor 30 sunscreen each day in a bid to stave off the wrinkles as long as possible, I have to come to terms with the fact it will all - my body, that is - disintegrate and turn to dust one day.
Just remembering this is a stark reminder that while I, and you, may try to maintain control over many aspects of our lives, Mother Nature is on course to do exactly as she wishes, whether I, or you, like it or not.

Don't fight it!
Learning to accept change and to see the beauty and wisdom in each progressive phase of life is the best way to stay healthy and happy. Just look at Louise Hay, founder of Hay House Publishing and a beacon of positivity and productivity in her 80s! I love her saying, which she often quotes when giving speeches in front of thousands, or to a camera for one of her videos, that she "chooses to make this decade the best of my life!"
Change is the nature of reality: either go with it and relax, or fight it and be stressed and miserable. OK so I may not be the best practitioner of this school of thought just yet, in fact sometimes I rail against it and wish I had back my 20-year-old body, but that thinking will only lead to sadness and suffering. Better to enjoy and be greatful for what I do have, and for how things are now, as that is the key to a happy life.

Hi! This is my first blog posting and about time too! I've been editing Soul&Spirit magazine for almost three years now, since it's launch at the very end of 2007, and what a journey it has been, not just professionally but personally.
I always had an interest in spiritual things, long before this job; I've been fascinated by astrology for as long as I can remember, and used to pore over a book my mum had about all the different signs. I even gave a talk about it at school!
I then moved on to an interest in feng shui and 9-star ki astrology, when I came across a book by Jon Sandifer. At the age of about 26, I moved on to meditation after so many people told me it would help still my ever-busy mind. And so I joined up to a beginner's course at my local Buddhist centre.
I feel this constant interest in spirituality, and all things esoteric, most certainly helped me get the job on Soul&Spirit, and I've been so fortunate over these past three years to receive so many wonderful books (I wish I could read them all but I'd never do anything else!) as well as attending courses from how to develop my psychic skills, to clearing out the past and creating the future.

But my biggest observation to date, from collating all the information I receive each day and trying to make sense of it in my head, is leading me to believe that we all do have the power to create out lives, on a moment-to-moment basis, the way we want them to be. Some people might use angels, or crystals, or affirmations, or oracle cards, or whatever tool to which they are drawn, to help them on their spiritual path, but ultimately I am starting to truly believe that the power is within us - not 'out there' in the hands of an expert or higher power. I think, perhaps, that WE are the higher power, and can create miracles. And it was Louise Hay's great book You Can Heal Your Life, all about the power of positive thought to heal mind, body and soul, that got me started on the spiritual path back in 2003.

It's all still an ever-evolving journey, and I'll be posting blogs as often as possible on the articles I receive for the magazine, along with books I read, people I interview, and places I go where I discover more about spirituality.
Please email me at katy.evans@aceville.co.uk (my work address) if you want to comment on the magazine - I'd love to hear from you!
Katy x