What Katy Louise Did...

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Katy Louise writes about health, wealth, happiness and relationships, and the spiritual insights she gains along her path. She is currently editor of Top Sante magazine (www.topsante.co.uk). Prior to that she was editor of Bodyfit magazine (now Your Fitness www.yourfitnesstoday.com) and the launch editor of Soul&Spirit magazine (www.soulandspiritmagazine.com). Katy is also a certified Fitsteps and STOTT Pilates instructor. She is the go-to girl for all matters relating to health, wellbeing and spirituality.

Thursday 2 October 2014

STOP being your own worst critic!

Are you your own worst critic? Always berating yourself for something? Join the club. I was just watching an episode of SATC where Carrie has her book published and is fearful of bad reviews. She says, in her 'wondering out loud' way as she writes her column: "Why are we so quick to believe our own worst reviews?"
I know how she feels. I'm a number one, A* student at being negative: not to other people but to myself. I sometimes wonder how I got where I did in life with all the negative self-chatter that goes on in my mind. Of course, it's not 100% of the time as I've been able to manifest a great number of amazing things, including my first job as a magazine editor. I remember how I visualised emailing off my application forms, and how I used to wish I could edit a spiritual magazine. And I was obviously confident and self-assured enough to bag the job at the interview. In some areas of life I can excel but in others... well... it's a disaster.
And even professionally I often doubt my abilities and skills. There are people doing things that I know I can do, either as good or better, but something holds me back from even trying. If it involves other people, and having to convince them, often I shy away as my inner critic says things like, who are you to do that? No one knows who you are; you have nothing different to say or add; your skills are not that great; it will take too long so why bother; other people are already doing it better and are further ahead than you so why start? You should have begin that project three years ago, it could have been a success by now but you left it too late; it will be too much effort; it might be a waste of time; you're not good enough' (and that last one is probably at the bottom of most people's fears).
Sometimes this voice gets so loud that I end up curled up on the sofa watching the aforementioned re-runs of SATC (or other daytime TV guilty pleasure like Say Yes to the Dress), avoiding the uncomfortable feelings I have to face when trying to break out of my comfort zone and do or create something of meaning. Procrastination is my best/worst friend.

Being kind to ourselves
So, now it's time to be kind to myself. I've realised that beating up on myself and skills just drags me down. Saying what is wrong and what I can't do does not take me any closer to where I want to be and what I want to do in life. As Wayne Dyer says in may of his talks and books, if you have the choice to think a thought that is going to get you closer to where you want to be, or a thought that will pull you further away, why would you choose the latter? The former may not physically, right in this second get you to your desired goal, but it's a heck of a lot more likely to bring your vibration up to a level that's more in alignment with what you do what to achieve than the negative thought.
And manifestation, as all the Abraham Hicks videos I watch says, starts in the mind. How we feel is an indicator of how we are doing. How we feel about ourselves and our lives, and what we focus on, is what we will attract more of. Being mean to myself and reminding myself of all my 'failings' and what I didn't do right last week or last month or last year, like a nasty teacher getting me to write out lines, is only going to keep me stuck in that pitiful, self-defrating vibration. If I am to change my life in any significant way it has to come from within, beginning with positive self talk.

An attitude of gratitude 
I have kept a gratitude journal for a while but I often forget to use us, thinking it's something trivial I don't have to do, which I can forget every now and then (which ends up being most of the time). But actually, being grateful is probably one of THE most important things I could do!
My work with Katie Philips on her MightyMind programme has forced me to look at what I say and how I talk to myself. I often trivialise these things and think 'yeah right, what can writing a whole bunch of affirmations and journalising about my dream life really do to change things?' but in fact, nothing will change without those starting actions!
How I speak to and about myself has a massive impact on how I feel, so if I just keep focusing on the negative things it makes me more likely to procrastinate than if I focus on the good things I've achieved and that I have now.

Even if life doesn't' look quite how you expected or wanted it to look now, you can still choose to focus on what is right, and what can go right, as you'll feel so much better for doing so. And, when you feel better, you'll more likely line up with the right opportunities for more good to come into your life. It's always the way!

Here's to speaking kindly to ourselves today and everyday.

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